He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
