Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
