I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
