Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
