I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
