I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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