Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
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