this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
