the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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