so explain again why im purple
no
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
