So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
