Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
