you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
