like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
