tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize