well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
