the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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