are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
