My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
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