Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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