It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
