hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
