So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
