I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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