K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
