when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
