he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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