he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
