i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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