ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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