kristin has been a bad kristin
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
