Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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