Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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