Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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