Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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