grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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