Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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