i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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