i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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