ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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