"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
