My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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