we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Shame is for Republicans.
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