my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
