Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize