What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
