i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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