I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
