wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
