I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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