Need sex. Gaining weight.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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