The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
