Will you blow on my dice?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
