Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
