if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
