im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
