....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
