She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
