I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
