Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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