I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
