Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
