I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
