why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
