when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
